ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

This is my new motto: ENOUGH ALREADY! I say it to my kids all the time, and now I'm learning to say it to myself. The closet that needs to be cleaned, the exercise routine that needs to be started, the letter that needs to be written, and the very neglected BLOG that desperately needs to be updated (among dozens of other things I'm not getting to!). ENOUGH ALREADY, BERE! JUST DO IT!

You see, I have this horrible vice in my personality that I'm about to confess. If it's not perfect (or close to it), then I don't do it or I give up trying to do it (it's part of my OCD tendencies that I'm constantly battling with). Example: A few weeks ago, I realized that I was not drinking enough water, so I decided to fill up my very own water bottle and set it on the counter every day. With this water bottle, I could measure out how much water I wanted to drink in one day and thus meet my goal. Enter Ziya. She decided that she also needed to drink out of my water bottle. I didn't know how much water she drank so I didn't know how much I was really getting either. So... I stopped trying altogether and went back to drinking my minimal amounts of water! Dumb, I know. Don't worry, I realized how dumb this was and quickly got over it and am pleased to announce that I am now drinking plenty of water. But not before the experience made me think about how I do this with a lot of things in my life:

• oh no, I broke down and ate 10 graham crackers and a granola bar for breakfast so I might as well eat junk for the rest of the day! This has gotten even worse: I'm so, so far from my eating and weight loss goals that it's hardly worth the effort to try at all.
  
• I don't have time or energy to read my scriptures for 30 minutes, cross referencing and studying from a manual and writing about what I learn in my journal... so my scripture reading efforts have very sadly been minimal.
  
• I don't have time to jog and lift weights and do pilates all in one day like I used to, so I just won't do any of it!
• I don't have a perfect family picture. I don't know how to put a cute background on my blog and digitally scrapbook a bunch of cute stuff to put on it, not to mention the fact that I'm about seven months behind and have missed posting some huge, huge happenings and changes in our lives! So I'll just keep putting it off since I'll never be able to get caught up anyway.

I know, I know. Stupid Satan. He is written all over these lame excuses. You're not good enough. Why even try? I'm sick of it and I'm sick of him. ENOUGH ALREADY!

My ever-wise husband is very patient with this vice of mine. He lovingly and gently reminds me that there is a time and a season for all things. Just the other day, he reminded me of an institute teacher who told us that his wife used to read her scriptures on the toilet when her kids were young because that was all she could manage at the time. I kind of scoffed at the example, but now that I've given it some more thought, I'm going to get up right now and put some scriptures in my bathroom.

I demand a lot of myself. I think that I will always demand a lot of myself -- it's just part of who I am. The part I want to change is that I want to be more patient and forgiving of myself. Even if it can't be perfect, I want to die trying (a bit melodramatic, I know).

So ENOUGH ALREADY. Perfect or not, I'm back!!!
I remember Ms. Novinger, my junior high English teacher, taught me that you can never know what you think until you write it down. Now I know what I think and I know what I need to work on - line upon line and precept upon precept. I'm almost embarrassed to click on the "publish post" button because I've divulged some pretty silly stuff about myself. Oh well. I'm not perfect. I guess none of us are perfect. But ENOUGH of that ALREADY!